Thursday, August 12, 2010

Feeling anxious

It is hard to believe it has been six months and we will go for Ryan's check-up and xray next Friday, August 20th.  I knew it was coming and know everything to expect, but it sure does not make it any easier.  First and foremost I am so very thankful that Ryan can walk, run, jump, play hard and pretty much be a typical little boy.  We are blessed beyond measure with the success of his treatment.  And yes here comes that but again, but I can not help feeling sick to my stomach with the thought that he may very well have to be in this dang brace for the rest of his growing childhood!!!!!  I just can't help it!  It is times like this I get mad, upset, angry and want to scream WHY?!!!  I don't scream, but silently sit here and ponder on what his life might be like without the brace.  I guess not that different, but I wouldn't have to set a timer to remind me to put his brace back on.  He wouldn't come to me and ask, "Momma, is it time to take my brace off?"  I wouldn't have to worry about him getting hot in the summer months playing outside.  I wouldn't have to hear him tell me his back hurts. He wouldn't be upset that his brother doesn't have to wear a brace and he does.  He wouldn't complain of wearing a brace period!  And we wouldn't have to go every six months for another xray!
Oh well, not much I can do about it.  This is our life.  I always tell others on my support group.......it is what it is and we learn to deal with it.  We keep living and playing!
So I am asking you to keep Ryan and our family in your thoughts and prayers.  My prayer is that there has been some improvement with the added brace wear since his last check-up.  Of course I pray he will not have to wear it as much, but that is a dream......I am certain of that.  Whatever the outcome of the appointment next Friday is I know I can handle it.  OK unless his doctor says he has to go back into a plaster cast.  YIKES!  I think you would hear my screams if that is the case, but I will not go there at this point.  I will trust in God and take this one day at a time.
I know God has a plan.  I truly do!  Exactly what that plan is I do not know, but it is a good one.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
***If you are new here....Ryan has Infantile Scoliosis.  Please read his story further down the page. 
And feel free to ask questions.  I am happy to make you AWARE of this condition.***

3 comments:

Nicole said...

Ryan is in my prayers!

Janet said...

Tasha, I will for sure keep y'all in my thoughts and prayers!

Schultz Style said...

I will be praying for Ryan. I will be praying for you as well. You are an amazing mom, and have been an angel to so many, I know I am not the only one. I am praying that a lasting improvement, one that will allow Ryan freedom from his brace, is in His plan.